Self-Concept in Thornhedge
This fun fantasy novella offers an opportunity to reflect on identity and self-esteem.
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Context
Toadling is a changeling—a child who was stolen from her cradle by wicked fairies less than an hour after birth and replaced by their own daughter. The fairy’s family don’t care what happens to Toadling once she’s in their realm, but luckily she’s adopted by a clan of river-dwelling “greenteeth” fairies.1 These beings—who have sharp green teeth, green skin, and algae-like hair—treat Toadling as one of their own and teach her some of their magic, most notably the ability to turn into a frog at will.
When Toadling is about eight, she’s whisked off to live with ordinary fairies. These fairies have a greater range of magic than do the greenteeth; they’re able to work with the other elements and to cast spells under certain conditions. The fairies are generally capricious and cruel, and treat humans as their playthings. But some fairies, including the ones Toadling studies under, disapprove of that practice, and attempt to protect humans when they can. They prepare Toadling to protect the household she was born in from the fairy who took her place in it.
Key Idea: An accurate concept of oneself and judging by appropriate standards are essential to strong self-esteem.
Toadling’s Self-Concept
Toadling suffers from self-doubt throughout the novella. She doesn’t trust herself or her magic, she judges herself harshly for her mistakes, and she sees herself as weak, ugly, and unlovable (except by the greenteeth). In short, Toadling doesn’t think she’s very good at being what she is. But what is she?
She was born human. But she didn’t eat human food before she came to live in the fairies’ world, so she was able to live similarly to the greenteeth. She learned their behaviors and practices, including some of their magic. Eventually, she even gains immortality. As a child, she was whisked off to live among fairies with totally different standards of behavior, practices, and magic. She had to learn to read and write and to cast spells using words—to meet expectations involving totally different things to those she had been taught. Then she returns to the family she was born into—except nobody knows who she is, so they view her as an outsider.
So is Toadling a greenteeth, an ordinary fairy, or a human? She’s a bit of each—a hybrid—but she doesn’t feel like any of them, not completely. She feels most at home among the greenteeth, who were kind to her when she was abandoned as a baby and who welcome her back with open arms as an adult. But she feels inferior to them and ugly beside them, because her appearance is somewhere between that of a human and that of a greenteeth. She never felt comfortable amongst the cruel fairies, though she appreciates their magical skill and the gift of understanding different languages they gave her. And despite thinking she should feel some connection to her human parents, she doesn’t (though after years living with them, she comes to admire her mother’s strength and her father’s idealism).
In short, Toadling is confused. She doesn’t see herself as a hybrid, with abilities and characteristics of three different species, but as an outsider reviled by the fairies, tolerated by the humans, and loved by the greenteeth.
Standards
Toadling judges herself unduly harshly because she is using the wrong standards. When comparing herself to the greenteeth, she considers herself ugly and unskilled—but the greenteeth are an entirely different species, and she’s adapted remarkably well to their way of life. Though choices make a massive difference to how we look and what we can do, there are limits imposed on this by our physical and mental natures, both as the type of being we are (human) and as an individual (genetics). When measuring our abilities and appearances, we need to consider what’s realistic for us—which Toadling doesn’t do.
She also lets standards she doesn’t fully accept (those of the fairies and the humans) bother her. She knows that by fairy and human standards, she’s ugly; green skin and black tears aren’t fashionable among humans or fairies. She knows that the fairies consider her unintelligent and that the humans fear her at first, and later view her with “affectionate contempt”—they don’t see her as particularly efficacious or magically powerful, but they aren’t afraid of her. Living with these views, and never having developed strong standards of her own, Toadling at some level absorbs these judgments and sees herself as ugly, stupid, and weak.
Socializing
Self-esteem is not only about how we look and what we can do, but how well we’re able to interact and connect with others. Toadling isolates herself for much of her adult life thus far (two hundred years), and when she finally meets a human again, she is anxious and awkward. That human is an earnest, kind knight who does his best to be polite. But Toadling, due to her low self-esteem, initially wants him to go away, and turns into a toad to escape speaking with him. She then dwells on their conversation, determining that she was awful at speaking to him: “I should have done anything other than what I did,” she thinks. “I am a fool and more than a fool” (24). With such a confused self-concept and lacking any clear, appropriate standards to judge by, it’s hardly surprising that Toadling doesn’t feel up to socializing with a stranger, even a kind one.
Self-esteem
Self-esteem depends on self-respect and self-confidence; on knowing that we are able to deal with the world (including other people) and that we are morally good. Toadling is sure of neither of those things, because her confused self-concept has led her to use the wrong standards to judge herself. By considering a new perspective through talking to the knight, she begins to realize that she needn’t be so harsh on herself, and to gather the courage to right the mistake she made long ago. Self-esteem doesn’t mean we’ll always succeed, but it makes us resilient and able to deal with it when we don’t.
Conclusion
T. Kingfisher’s Thornhedge is a fun, quick fantasy read that shows, through the character of Toadling, how essential having an accurate self-concept and using appropriate standards are to strong self-esteem.
Kingfisher was probably inspired by the British legend of Jenny Greenteeth, a sharp-toothed, sharp-fingered, green-skinned woman with hair that resembled seaweed. She was used as a threat to children to encourage them to stay away from pools and brush their teeth; see https://www.oxfordreference.com/display/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803100019644.